I keep scraping at the world trying to find something.~line from the BBC series, Marriage

I got locked out of a new phone, because I created a pin and couldn't remember it--didn't record the numbers anywhere. All my fault. I Googled to see how many four-digit number combinations there are between zero and nine. Ten-thousand. Hopeless. I'd already attempted about a hundred. The customer service person at T-Mobile scolded, "You created the pin. That's a personal thing. There's no way I can help you retrieve it." My husband said (not in a mean way), "Priscilla, that phone's a brick." I laughed (a little).

I had tried so hard. I always try really hard. I scrape around attempting to do what's best, do the right thing, make the prudent decision. Sometimes, though, all that trying is not enough. So I prayed, "God, I feel guilty that I screwed up the pin. I surrender. If the phone remains a brick, that's okay. I will trust your leading, your provision, whatever that looks like. Above all, I have so much to be thankful for. For You in my life, for my darling husband who is smart and has good ideas, who's a great trouble shooter." I'd just read the the parable of Jesus feeding the five thousand. I continued to pray, "Lord I don't have any idea how to fix the phone, just like the boy with five loaves and two fish had so little to offer that vast crowd of hungry people. I'll trust you to multiply the meager supply in my hand."

Then I read in Mark 6:48-51 (NIV) Jesus saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night He went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw Him walking on the lake, they thought He was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw Him and were terrified. Immediately He spoke to them and said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Then He climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down.

The passage reminded me that Jesus is into the miraculous, even with small things like lost pin numbers. He is the One, who when I try so hard, calms the wind and water. Decimates my fear.

My husband, the wise and practical man he is, said, "Let's go back to T-Mobile. Let's try one more time." We did. A kind woman named Keisha helped us retrieve the pin, my phone no longer a brick. But what's such a relief is to feel the comfort of Jesus when He climbs in the boat with me--when I've failed, when I've forgotten things, when I'm anxious, when I'm straining at the oars and have no clue how I'll figure things out.