There's a kind of unspoken conspiracy to ignore how difficult life is, or to reframe it as something romantic--a heroic challenge we overcome on our way to the good life. In this conspiracy we each try to hide our scars, even from those closest to us and sometimes even from ourselves...think about someone you know who is living the good life: someone well dressed, confident, smiling, high achieving, maybe even attractive and intelligent and funny. Nine times out of ten, they are carrying around something unspeakably painful. And often, when you learn what that pain is, it'll be something completely unexpected.~Alan Noble (From On Getting Out Of Bed)

In my study, I have a black and white photo of a trio of gondolas tied to a dock in the waters of Venice. The gondola is a significant symbol for me. When I was weak and ill with cancer several years ago, I had little strength for anything. I couldn't climb stairs. I was bald from chemo treatments. No eyelashes. No eyebrows. My face round as the moon from side-effects of the medication in the chemo cocktail. I would visualize myself resting in the gondola, not having to muster strength for anything other than to feel a fresh breeze on my face and trail my fingers in the sun-dappled, sea-green Venice canals. I imagined the Lord as my gondolier. In my vulnerability, I abandoned my control to His guidance. I learned then, at least somewhat, the mystery and comfort of His presence when I was broken.

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold. During that season of brokenness, I experienced a divine tenderness and restoration that I cannot articulate. In that place of physical and psychological suffering, I felt the peace of Jesus. I experienced His nearness. It was counterintuitive to feel inexpressible joy when I felt so bad--when I looked in the mirror and did not recognize myself. The art of kintsugi is a powerful way to express the grace of God. In His kindness, the Lord filled in all the cracks caused by that brutal disease with the gold of His mercy and healing. 

May we surrender to Him, find our satisfaction in Him, trust Him to fill in the deep crevices of brokenness when life presents its suffering and difficulties. Trust Him to get out of bed one more day with confidence in our hearts that He is good. Even our fractured places a thing of beauty.