She wore apricot-colored lipstick, her blonde hair pinned up in a high bun, Brigitte Bardot style. The small diamonds in her ears, the size of pinheads, glistened in her lobes like tears.~Deborah Levy (From August Blue)

The image came to be almost instantly. I sat in a circle, participating in a women's Bible study at my church, each of us in silent contemplation, heads bowed. The leader spoke softly, "Do any of you see a picture or an image the Lord may have provided you?" I hesitated to speak out of timidity, "What if this image is dumb or incongruent with what God is saying? What if I'm just making it up in my head?" I sensed the Holy Spirit encouraging me to speak. Afterall, even if my picture was all of those things I feared, it was still a lovely image. So I said, "I see a woman from behind. The image is black and white. She is moving forward confidently, bathed in light moving toward an opening. Her opportunity."

Earlier in the week, I'd attended a conference. I was a greeter for the event. I stood outside the entrance at dusk, the indigo sky above punctuated with glowing silver stars. A woman came out and introduced herself. We quickly established we were both writers and she was also one of the conference speakers. While I was getting ready for the conference, I changed purses. I had the idea to place some of my cards into the purse as well. I almost didn't do it but said to myself, "Oh what the heck. It can't hurt." I didn't really believe I'd have anyone to give a card to. Yet spontaneously, I said to this lovely woman, "Here's my card. You may want to check out my website and books." She took my card in her hand and exclaimed enthusiastically, "You have a business. I've been looking for businesses to pray for."  She then said, "For the next thirty days I'll send an e-mail to let you know how I am praying for you." I hardly had time to thank her as she was off to speak. I never thought of writing books as a business. I viewed my writing as a hobby.

I later resplied to one of her emails and told her that I appreciated her response to my card, never thinking of myself as having a business, telling her I found it difficult to "promote myself." She kindly responded that others could be missing out on something good if the writting was not where people could find it.

Over these last months, God has been faithful to use not only this woman, but also others to show his affection for me. Not just about my writing, but also about how I look. For many years, I've uttered malicious words over my body, my face, my weight. What I lack. My writing not good enough. Less than. Never enough. Not measuring up. 

I understand the need to repent. And I have turned from these pernicious declarations. God does not see me that way. I know it grieves Him for me to say these things. I realized I could describe the physical beauty of one of my fictional characters, yet cannot speak out loud about the beauty and gift of my own body, my own mind, my own gifting that He has given to me. That great Artist, the Creator who loves to use His imagination to provide us just the right palette of colors for our skin and hair and eyes. It is a good and wise idea to declare what He thinks of us. How the Good Father views us. I asked Him to provide a Scripture passage that I could hold onto when tempted to drift over into destructive thinking. This is the verse He gave me:

We have become His poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny He has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One.~Ephesians 2:10 (The Passion Bible)

And, too, I found this image you see in the post today. So like the one I saw in my mind while sitting in the circle of contemplation. May all of us, men and women, walk confidently forward, suffused in His light, toward the destiny He has given to each of us.