The other night in a dream I held a photograph of myself. I looked at the picture very intently as I was embracing a sea turtle. I smiled widely and wore a red flannel pullover. I was not in the least upset that I held there close to my side a giant turtle. I could feel the ridges of its shell through my shirt. Its legs and arms were outside the shell. I noted the brown diamond-shaped spots on its head--the black onyx eyes. I didn't think "she" (intuited this sea creature was female) was too heavy or cumbersome. I wanted to hold onto her.
I wondered what this dream could be telling me--how God might be speakng to me. Then that very day I was browsing about on the internet and ran into a snippet of video about sea turtles. I learned that on land the turtles travel about 2 mph. But when they reach the ocean, their speed accelerates to 20 mph. People tell me I'm slow. When I drive, most passengers become anxious, because I travel just under the speed limit. (This really drives my husband crazy). I speak slowly, enunciating my words quite clearly. I often linger with decision making, and inch along toward making changes. Yet like a turtle on land, I'm quite steady as I head toward goals I sense are my calling. I often need to crawl into my shell to practice solitude and silence, to regroup after a long week at work. I crave margin, as plenty of space acts as a protective shell to keep me centered and listening to the Holy Spirit.
When I write, though, it's like the sea turtle finally reaching the ocean. I find that I can move at an increased pace that allows me to feel as if I'm flying. It's such a great feeling, because the page is my habitat. I was created to swim in this crystalline sea of words. To write is in my DNA.
While I've been blogging today, I'm burning a candle. Its scent is called "Fearless." I bought the candle solely for the name, hoping it would smell fragrant. It has a sharp, citrusy smell that I associate now with courage. I light it often when I write, because as much as I love writing, it takes all my bravery to keep "heading for the ocean" each week. I often feel as if I go even more slowly than 2 mph, what with working fulltime, relationship upkeep, paying bills and coping with the unexpected stuff of life that makes up a week.
But then I see myself in that dream photo. I see the exuberant smile, the love for that wonderful giant of the ocean--and I remember, "Courage, Priscilla. Think fearless."
We are all unique, created for so many wonderful endeavors. Where are you with yours? I shout from the page: "Don't give up. Take your next step. Embrace who God created you to be. You don't have to do things perfectly to move forward. Even at a turtle's pace, there is success, the span of ocean very close."