That is how you know you're existing in the world, the uncertainty. Of course, that is why we sometimes want to return to the past, because we know it, or think we do. It is a song we've heard.~Matt Haig (From How To Stop Time)

The feeling caught me off guard. I drove downtown Charleston where I used to work. I recognized the ornate iron gates I passed when I walked to the Medical University for meetings, the Starbucks where I'd take a break and get a coffee. Even the parking garage seemed like an old friend. I parked for years there, often on the top floor so I could watch the sunrise before heading into work. I felt threads of sadness. All that life finished. And completed well. A good chapter in my life. Yet my workplace is not even located downtown now. Colleagues gone on to other endeavors. Some have died. While I wouldn't go back, can't go back, the past pulls on me, tugs at me to think of the familiar routine, romanticize what was. Like flipping through old LPs at a record store, yearning to find music that I know. Songs I've heard.

But then I come back to reality. I have now. I have this present location God has called me to. This vital life. A strong pulse. The territory where Jesus has led me is in sharp focus, the outline clear--my past a blurred and beautiful background that supports my present. God, help me to fully embrace the now. Like the past, this moment is filled with your grace, wisdom, favor and provision. Your faithfulness is constant. Your mercies never end.