God can help me to believe there is a reason and a plan. God can help me be happy. The lure of that is almost irresistible.~Cara Wall (From The Dearly Beloved)

I woke loaded with anxiety and overwhelm. I had so much to do. People and companies to contact before departing for the other side of the ocean. A house to prepare. Packing. I usually take too much. All the ounces to figure out. My bag overstuffed. This is my tendency--to crave certainty and demand perfection from myself. Let fear of the unknown win.

By God's grace, I listened to a podcast and heard a quote by Bill Johnson, pastor of Bethel Church in Redding, California: Fear drives my mind into forbidden territory.

I said out loud. "I won't slide into anxiety and allow the reality of uncertainty to paralyze me." I prayed, "God, what is the antidote?"

My focus turned to the fealty of Jesus--His grace, His strength, His wisdom, His peace, His forgiveness and provision. I gave thanks for life joys and pleasures--candles and books, music and libraries, movies and language. Family and community; church and nature. The crepe myrtles with their pink petals that scatter the sidewalks with papyrus-like beauty. For my grandchildren and their little brown dog that sits at my feet when I go to their house. I love it when the dog intently gazes at me with his golden eyes. His ears like silk. 

I prayed, "Lord, thank you for your beauty, your solidarity, your wisdom, your promise to renew my mind when I teeter on the edge of forbidden territory. When I crave certainty instead of anchoring into you. Thank you for my life. Continue to help me draw near to you when I am afraid and vulnerable. I so need your shepherding. Your clarity. Keep me Kingdom minded. Keep me safe on your pathway of light--hidden so safely in You that the enemy cannot detect my scent."

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.~Romans 15:13 (NIV)