Thanksgiving is our dialect.~From Ephesians 5:4 (The Message)

I fell off my bicycle. Right before I fell, my mind moved into that weird space of slow motion where I realized I couldn't stop, yet knew I'd fall. Then boom. I toppled over and landed with a thud mercifully on a mound of grass. I wasn't hurt, but shaken up. I haven't been back on the bike. I want to get back on. I will get back on.

Then there's another kind of metaphorical bike riding with the Italian language. Yesterday, I went shopping alone in Italy. The experience was like getting back on the bike after a fall. I've made many mistakes while attempting to speak Italian--so many, in fact, that it feels hard to keep trying.

But I've been practicing a coping technique that helps when my brain congeals and then freezes, negative emotions dictating my actions. I learned the tactic from a book entitled Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before by Dr. Julie Smith. Metacognition is simply the brain's ability to become aware of thoughts and then think about those thoughts, i.e, to think about thinking. When I went shopping, I became aware of what I was thinking, "You'll probably screw up again, forget the polite form of speaking, not remember your verbs, become tongue-tied and make a million more mistakes." But then I thought about my thoughts and literally put my cappuccino cup down on the table and held up my palm and said, "Stop,"  under my breath. It was like getting back on the bike. I said to myself, "At least you keep trying, keep attempting to add vocabulary and listen to others. You survived several family social situations just yesterday with multiple mistakes, but you learned from them. And no one was judging you. In fact, they were patient and loving and didn't expect you to speak perfectly." Plus I could practice gratefulness that I have the opportunity to learn a new language and the chance to be in Italy.

I moved on to the different stores with increased confidence, realizing I could use what language I have now. I ended up at a bookstore. And when I went up to the cashier, I felt relaxed and placed my purchases on the counter and said, "A few gifts for my family in the United States." He smiled and asked, "And where are you from?" I was able to answer his question and he said he wished he could speak English. And then I said, "I hope to speak Italian much better someday." He replied, "Well, you are speaking well now." I must have been beaming, because he chuckled and said in English, "Have a nice day."  And then in Italian, "That's all I know how to say in English." I said to him in Italian with no mistakes. "You are very kind. You have a good day too."  

Practicing metacogntion is like assisting the brain in developing a new dialect. To help train oneself to be a student of grace, to practice thanksgiving and self-compassion. To not give up. To get back on the bike.