I have a sterling silver ring that I wear every day. The ring is shaped in a curve. I bought it as a reminder that life is not lived in a straight line, from A to B to C to D. In our culture, though, that is somehow the belief and expectation. I find myself demanding those outcomes from my brief life. "You're supposed to be at this place on the line now. What is wrong with you?" I look at my life and it's not a line--it's a collection of arcs and drop-offs where I quit things. Some of the circular paths are worn down like a beaten path to a favorite spot. Other paths have high grass that has never been mowed and likely never will be. What's the answer? I think for me it is embracing and accepting that life is imperfect. I'm imperfect. Other people are imperfect. And so the task is to keep re-accepting this truth and allowing my life to be lived with circuitous routes, knowing that because the Lord is with me, I'm successful.~(From my book, On A Clear Blue Day).

This morning I feel as if I'm on a journey that has plunged me into territory that is wild and untraveled. I decided to formally retire from my job as a substance use counselor, the job and identity I've had for the last 23 years. I feel fear about what I don't know. Simultaneously, I sense I "know" more than I give myself credit for as I follow the pathway to what's next.

Maybe I'm trying to be too careful, too perfectionistic as I move forward in this landscape that is unfamiliar. What if I could embrace the mystery, enjoy the views that I could see nowhere else? What if I could enjoy myself? What if I could trust that the tools and supplies in my backpack are enough? More than enough? What if I'm walking in abundance and not scarcity as I fear? What if this place is filled to overflowing? 

Let me abandon my scarcity thinking. It is so practiced, this kind of negative filter--frequently believing I'll receive "the short end of the stick." What if in this new location, I receive "the long end of the stick?"

I will keep moving ahead with these questions apprehending my thinking--the Holy Spirit's whispers. His touch. His revelatory powers creating a wiser mind.

I leave my destiny and its timing in your hands.

Your pleasant pathways lead me to pleasant places...for you bring me to a continual revelation of resurrection life, 

The path to the bliss that brings me face-to-face with you.~(From Psalm 16, The Passion Translation)