Out a few hours early from work, I drove to a beach near my home. As I walked the length of the pier, the ocean seemed to cradle me with its sunlight-dappled waves--its hushed tones. But as I sat on the wooden bench overlooking all that spangling blue, I did not feel peaceful. The emotions that surfaced were snarled with briers--took me aback--anger, anxiety, fear, burnout and hopelessness. I said to myself, "Where is this coming from? I work hard to stay positive; to stay focused on the good." The idea of going to the ocean was supposed to help me feel better. I almost left after being at the pier for only a few minutes, but I'd paid for parking. I thought I'd at least better stay an hour to get my money's worth. I walked to another bench. No matter how I felt, the view seemed strong enough to hold the weight of my emotions.

As I sat there, I imagined that I was in that ocean treading water, my nose just above the surface. Struggling. I thought, "What if I just leaned back? What if I allowed myself to float and let the ocean hold me? What if I allowed the currents to take me to a different place? 

I sensed the Lord speaking too. "Priscilla, you tend to assume that I always want you to do more. To strive. What if my directive is for you to float? To surrender? To let my currents of grace take you to a higher place. To a location where you are calm. At rest."  I thought, "Perhaps these painful emotions have actually been companions, leading me to the truth. Guiding me to surrender. Perhaps the urge to go to this tranquil beach provided the visual I needed to get to the territory of letting go. Lord, where do the currents of your mercy take me?

I prayed for Scripture. But I will feed you with spiritual bread. You will feast and be satisfied with me, feeding on my revelation-truth like honey dripping from the the cliffs of the high place.~Psalm 81: 16 (The Passion Translation)