For a long while, she sat in vibrant paralysis, her purse in her lap.~Yoon Choi (From Skinship)

"It's sort of an emotional inflammation," said Dr. Mark Batterson, lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, DC. Dr. Batterson was describing our society now. Having walked two years on the road of the COVID crisis, the world now finds itself moving through a doorway to war. We are "inflamed" as a culture--that location where we can feel helpless, powerless, angry, sad, depressed. In pain. Not knowing what we can do to move forward. Paralyzed.

Over the last two weeks, I've had a sore, tender back. Inflammation. I've hated it, honestly. I've fought the pain by attempting to keep going at my usual pace, but it's only made the discomfort worse. I finally gave in and listened to my body. I slowed my pace. Rested. Allowed myself space. Breathed deeply. Prayed.

Perhaps that's what we do now to decrease the emotional swelling.

We are miners striking new ore at every depth.~Julia Cameron (From Transitions)

I participate in an ill-advised practice regarding my endeavor to write novels. I don't follow an outline. Most authors speaking of their creative process do not support this technique--or lack thereof. I, too, feel somewhat threatened by own audacity. I engage in a rather mysterious undertaking of asking questions to my characters. "What are you trying to teach me?" I ask. This week a character spoke. She's realigning her life, attempting to get in touch with desires that she's repressed for years. She takes a walk along the coastline where she lives and looks up at the night sky, the stars flung out like a tapestry. She shouts amidst the clamor and murmuring of ocean waves, "Do you stars surrender to your brilliance?" 

I became intrigued by her question--so much so that I explored her cry to the starlit darkness in a poem.

It may be that we have lost our ability to hold a blazing coal, to move unfettered through time, to walk on water, because we have been taught such things have to be learned; we should deserve them; we must be qualified. We are suspicious of grace. We are afraid of the very lavishness of the gift.~Madeleine L'Engle (From Walking on Water--Reflections in Faith and Art)

This week I heard a story about a surgeon who transplanted a heart to a woman. The new heart did not immediately begin to beat. The physician then proceeded to do something unorthodox in the operating suite. He kneeled down and whispered to the woman, "I've removed your unhealthy heart and replaced it with a brand new one. It's all in place. Now you tell your heart to beat again." Almost at once, the woman's heart began to pulse with life.

Like physical hearts, sometimes our spiritual hearts can become hardened or wounded or broken. I believe that Jesus bends down and whispers in our ears, "Tell your heart to beat again. I've provided the mercy for that to happen. Don't be suspicious of the lavishness of my grace. Willingly receive my goodness, my Kingdom pulse."

Grace was the paintbrush. It carried me through.~Bill Fricke

This morning I'm trying to "tease out" the meaning of stillness. What does that word, that concept actually mean? The definition seems to imply rest, a quiet state, calmness, my hands free, my heartbeat steady, my mind tranquil. The peace of Jesus. And then what does it mean to reflect and embrace the peace of Jesus?

I believe receiving is involved. But then I often confuse the art of receiving with self-effort. Performance. Surely there's a formula I can follow, a five-step action plan. Directives. Machinations.

What if entering the door of the Lord's peace is walking in and receiving His hospitable ministrations? Simply to receive from Him with no worry of pay back or over-staying my welcome. To sit at His kitchen table and drink a strong cup of coffee with half and half. To hear Him say, "I freely give you my peace. It's not like the culture's peace that depends on happy circumstances. My peace transcends sorrow, self-doubt, shame, loneliness and lost dreams. There is no DIY plan with me. It's not about the performance. It's about the receiving." (See John 14: 26-27)

There is a feeling that comes--a gentle hit of recognition--when something is right for us.~Melody Beattie

I saw the slice of blue sky peeking through the side of the blinds in my study. I rose from my desk chair and lifted the window covering. A burst of lapis lazuli entered the room, a bank of white clouds accompanying the royal blue acreage. My mind felt contorted, though, my brain overwhelmed. I needed to give myself a break from the swirling content in my head. I opened a website I enjoy visiting to immerse myself in beautiful photographs. I spent an hour walking amidst the colors and imagery, the sky through my window a companion. I realized anew that it is important to regularly get in touch with what brings joy and beauty. What resuscitates delight is not something to sweep under the rug. It is important to amble through your preferences regularly. Otherwise you lose touch with yourself. Your creativity. 

LIght and color from the sky bring me contentment. You know, those skies that are violet, pinpricked with smoldering stars. I love wearing bright scarves tied around my neck. Yesterday I wore an orange one and felt so much better. I love art on the walls. Clocks ticking softly in the stillness of a room.  Burning candles that emit a subtle fragrance of vanilla or lavender. Laughter brings release. Music calms. 

We know what we like, but often forget to make space for those things.